Christmas Makes Me Cry


We are in the final days before Christmas and I feel like there is still SO much to do. Between wrapping up everything at work to actually finishing my present wrapping, I’m starting to feel the pressure. This previous Sunday I wrote about self care during the holidays which I am using religiously this week. I’ve spent time with friends, caught up on my favorite shows while ignoring all the packing I have to do (self care or procrastination?) and also went on lots of long walks with my pup.


While I was walking Blue a night this week, I thought, what about self care in the moments where Christmas makes you sad? There doesn't seem to ever be a big acknowledgment around that subject. Every topic surrounding Christmas is happiness, which I totally get because it is one of the most magical times of year, but what about all the heartbreak, sadness & loneliness that doesn’t turn off just because it’s Christmas?


Clearly I’m not alone in this feeling because one of my best friends (who blogs brilliantly - click here to read) texted me earlier this week about this same topic.


Kacey Musgraves (who I love) also has a song titled Christmas Makes Me cry and when I first heard it, I related to it so much. I've shared the lyrics at the end as I think they perfectly describe the feeling I am talking about.


For the past few years on Christmas Day specifically, I've felt such a strong combination of feeling happy and sad at the same time. I truly love Christmas and all the amazing parts that come with it but there is always a moment of sadness for me. Sadness for missing my grandpa (who was the king of Christmas. He one time tied the Christmas tree to the wooden frame on the window to keep it from falling). I miss him & the memories we created. It's also such a special time of year where you want to share all the magic with someone else, so the loneliness of that starts to creep in too.


So how do we manage the moments that are less then happy? For me personally, I've found that acknowledging them works the best. I don't try to pretend I'm all rainbows and butterflies. Around those I feel safe with (families & friends) I have pretty candid conversations about how I am feeling. But the next step is key. I try as hard as I can to not let those be the narrating thoughts of my day. I acknowledge, process, and keep moving. Those three steps have helped me tremendously throughout the past year. It's okay to feel your feelings but to keep them from turning heavy, I honor them and move on with the rest of my day.


While I hope the holidays bring you nothing but happiness, it's okay to feel all your other emotions as well. If you have mastered the art of compartmentalizing your feelings and completely ignoring the sadness you may feel, I give you props. For the way my anxiety is setup, feeling emotions is my specialty. So if you are like me, enjoy the happiness this season brings but also honor your feelings and be your authentic, genuine self. I'll be back in the next few weeks with my New Years Resolutions, but until then, I wish you all a safe and healthy holiday season.


Christmas Makes Me Cry

It's all red and gold and Nat King Cole and tinsel on the tree

It's all twinkle lights and snowy nights and kids still believe

And I know that they say, "Have a Happy Holiday"

And every year, I sincerely try

Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry, hmm

It's the ones we miss, no one to kiss under the mistletoe

Another year gone by, just one more that I, I couldn't make it home

And I know that they say, "Have a Happy Holiday"

And every year, I swear I sincerely try

Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry, hmm

Always

Seems like everybody else is having fun

I wonder if I'm the only one

Who's broken heart still has broken parts just wrapped in pretty paper

And it's always sad seeing mom and dad getting a little grayer

And they always say, "Have a Happy Holiday"

And every year, I sincerely try

Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry

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