Do I believe in soulmates? Yes. Is there a chance I've already met my soulmate? Yes, maybe. Do I believe you can have multiple soulmates? Absolutely. I remember being young and dreaming about the day I would meet my soulmate. I was so naive and thought this person would just fall from the sky and I would know from the start that this was a perfect one for me. To fall so deeply in love with someone and feel like I’ve met my match was something I dreamed about for a long time. So to no surprise, I was pretty boy crazy growing up. I remember being in middle school and emailing (yes, emailing) my crush and changing my font color to pink so he would know I liked him. So obvious, right? Or staying up late and chatting my crush on msn messenger (the good old days). I couldn’t wait to be in a relationship.
But the mind has a way of changing real fast. Through rocky relationships and crazy first dates, there is part of me that really wonders how much I truly believe in soulmates anymore. And to be honest, that part of me freaks me out. I don’t want to sound bitter but it can really make me wonder if there is that one true match out there for everyone. The one where it just makes sense from the beginning. I’m good in relationships and I like being a relationship girl so I’ve never really questioned the idea of a soulmate before. But maybe even the scariest part for me is that at one point I thought I had found mine.
When I was on a date recently, the awkward conversation of past relationships got brought up. He asked me why I was still single and in my mind, my head completely spun around in a circle and the rage was so clear in my eyes that I started listing a million reasons why it wasn’t my choice that I was now single. But in reality, I stared at him for a long time and didn't know what to say. And for anyone who knows me, knows that I’m never speechless. My dad calls me last word for a reason. I’ve always got an answer for everything. All these thoughts came to my head and I wondered, should I really say what I am thinking? Which if you are dying to know, I did. I very genuinely did not think my dating life would be where it is today. I saw things so differently a little over a year ago. And if I’m being brutally honest, that’s a scary realization to face head on.
After that conversation, it really made me think about future relationships and how I will know if I've met my soulmate. So logically, I googled this very question. Which is a very strange thing to type into a search bar but I wanted to see what the experts had to say. And just so we are clear, my expert on this is Huffington Post. The list of how you know you’ve met your soulmate was totally what I expected it to be. ‘You feel a sense of comfort being around that person.’ ‘Your values are in total alignment.’ ‘You can let your guard down and be 100% yourself.’ Each of these are things I truly believe. But the one that stuck out to me the most was, ‘your souls meet at the right time.’ Which is how I know I’ve already met my soulmate.
To back up a bit, Sex and The City is one of my favorite shows. I’ve watched every episode and both movies so many times. I actually can’t think of any other show that I relate to more. Like the episode where Miranda lives alone and is choking and then completely freaks out that no one will be there to save her? Yeah, I honestly think about that scene way too often. Also the episode where Carrie tells Big, “your girl is lovely, hubbell.” And he responds, “I don’t get it.” And as she walks away says, “and you never did” is the perfect scene that sums up my last relationship. But most importantly, my favorite quote is: “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates & guys are just people to have fun with.” I’ve always loved this quote and it’s been in the back of my head forever, but it wasn’t until this past week that I truly believed it. I was talking to one of my best friends about relationships and how confusing they can be when it totally dawned on me that my friendships and the relationships I’ve built with all my girlfriends are the most constant things in my life.
So that whole thing about souls meeting at the right time? Yeah, I believe that. I feel this way in every friendship I have. Our paths crossed and tangled together at the perfect time. Whether that be new or old friendships, each one has taught me something different. I’ve grown so much through my friendships and am extremely grateful for that. The lessons I've learned, the deep conversations I've matured from, the experiences we've shared and the love between us fills my heart in a way that hasn't been filled in a long time. When I was reading through Huffington Post's list, it was like I was checking a box after each line because I feel all those things in each of my friendships. Completely comfortable where I can tell them about every part of my life, the good and the bad. Our values are so in sync. My guard is completely down and they get every part of me. So if something happens, not long after my friends are going to know every detail. That's the kind of soul level we are at.
And this post isn't meant to sound bitter about relationships because if anything, I am the exact opposite of that. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about the future. And I owe that to my friends, my true soulmates. There's no way I could've gotten to this place without them. And even if I have a couple bad dates between now and then, I at least know that no matter what time of the night, they will pick up my facetime, let me vent, and then tell me after that my screen was frozen the entire time. So find the Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda to your Carrie, and cherish those friendships just as much as I cherish mine. Because I know they are the most beautiful relationships I've built this far.